Kenshin and his bad acting skills
by SleeplessDreaming
Summary: Ha ha updated spoof
1. Wha, the Script

No I don't own Kenshin, I mean come oooon, do really think I am that smart to make such a good series!

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Kenshin and his bad acting skills

The coarse wind nipped at the insides of all who stood. The silent battle ragging. The stream beside them catching the eerie blackness that cascaded off the sky as the air seemed to tighten. No breeze daring to break that horrifying uncomfortable silence.

The two men looked at each other with cold unreadable eyes. Aoshi slid one leg back as his other hand hovered over the katana tightly braced to his thigh. He held the eyes of Kenshin, his new adversary, in a binding sort of coolness. Unlike Aoshi, Kensin did not move. He took no fighting stance as his arms fell lightly to his side. Why was he not motioning to begin the battle? This was a question no one could answer.

On the other side of the small stream that spread. Karou, Yahiko and Misao stood there. Watching intently as the battle was about to begin. Misao felt her entire body quiver and shake as her nerves strangled themselves in her small form. 'Please Kenshin, don't kill him…' Misao thought as her eyes slowly flowed with a small sprinkle of tears.

"Start the god damn fight you pansys!" Kaoru screeched impatiently

"Battosai, we fight here and now!" roared the voice of Aoshi as he slowly, but steadily, unsheathed his sword.

Kenshin just stared for a moment, a blank stare on his face. "Aoshi" he whined in a most annoying voice that not even the shrill valley girls from Hollywood could stand.

The young man stared at Kenshin thinking for a moment about the tone in his voice. "Huh" was all he could muster.

"I dunna wanna fight Aoshi babe, I am tired and look at this sword" He point to the sword at his left hip, "its to heavy and the swords a dirty, the skript isn't even correct..."a gasp escaped kenshins lips and a shrill cry squeaked, " I broke a nail! I broke a nail, O-H M-Y G-A-W-D!"

"…"

"And Gawd, why give me the leading role, all I want to do is paint my nails pink, but no, jeeeeeez."

Aoshi whips out the script and studies it carefully, "THIS ISN'T IN THE SCRIPT YOU TARD!" He said flipping off the bird at Kenshin,

"Ugh I can't Work with you people, I am so gone" and with that as there parting, he left, one hand on his hip as he swayed his booty? Oh gawd this is getting ridiculouse….

"I think I just lost all respect for Kenshin" Yahiko said before slowly turning around and walking away. "We soooo need a new scriptwriter" said Karou as she walked silently after Yahiko shaking her head. "I don't get it, even after all this I am still not the main character," said Misao as she walked behind the other two, a script in her hand scratching her head absent-mindedly.

* * *

**Author (Rei)**: "Who the fuck messed with Kenshin's script" she slammed the small script in her hands against the hard wood desk in her office building, "Don't you guys now that its hard for Kenshin to stay in Character when he trys to suppress his obvious girly streak."

Everyone looked around the desk. Most people from the Kenshin main series sat comfortably.

**Bird Head**:"I wasn't even in this chapy" a small whine escaping his lips.

**Kenshin**: "Oh my gawd, its not my problem that you guys can't handle my girliness, why don't we just call it Kenshin of the moon and I can wear a tight mini skirt!" a small rainbow forms between his hands like sponge bob and imagination.

**Misao**: ...

**Yahiko**: "This is all to disturbing for a person my age."

**Kaoru**: "Don't listen Yahiko, your brain will be fried!" has gone into hysterics.

**Squinty eyes**: "please…help."

**Rei**: "Oooook, I think I will just erase that episode from my mind, god help us all." A small sigh escapes her lips " The chapter ends here."

**Kenshin**: "Nooooo I want to talk more about Kenshin of the moon to the fans!"

**Bob (best friend)**: Ish down on the floor in hestarics.

**Rei**: "This feels degrading, N'way Ill see y'all later Nye!"

* * *

How did I come up with this scary Idea! Well it was when me and my friend Bob, wewere walking home from summer school one daytalking about Kenshin and what would happen if he just said "I dunna wanna fight," because most people know Kenshin can't back down from certain fights.

I will create a link on my profile for a picture were Kaoru is yelling, dunno when put I will. Read and Review


	2. Sailor Kenshin!

Chapter 2

(Oh my god I am actually continuing the madness!)

Do I have to say I don't own it, gawd…

Kenshin and the bad acting skills 2

(Bird head is here, YAY!)

The trees were blowing as the peaceful breeze swept the land, as if caressing its darling mistress. It seemed that even the birds would not disturb such a quite beauty…but who said Zanzo wouldn't…

"I HATE THE WATER OK!" poor Zanzo, we seem to find the gang of four standing outside a small stream, Zanzo screeching at the other three about…water?

"Oh get in there, you smell like horse shit," Squinty eyes said plainly as he rocked on the back of his heels staring at the other man intensely with his squinty…glare…how can you call that a glare?

"I do not, its not that bad…" he said looking at the ground sheepishly. "Yes it is that bad, look at all that febreeze we had to use to get the stink out of the school," Squinty eyes says as he points to a pile of about 20 febreeze piled up. "I mean come on, your so bad smelling that not evenMakoto will fight you!"

"He's right, I don't think even I can't stand your horrid stench" says Bandage dudeas he pops out of nowhere. "Ya well you're a creepy guy who seems to pop out of absolutely no where" Sano looks around noticing that he has disappeared, "creepy…"

"This one agrees with them as well Sano, please take a bath or something." Says Kenshin leaning against the pile of febreeze. "What if I said no," says Sano flatly. "We will make you!" yells squinty eyes.

"NOOOOO! NOT THE WATER OF DOOOOOOOOOOM!" bashes his fist against a tree making the earth around them shake.

Suddenly, the pile of febreeze starts to topple, and guess what it's leaning towards. "ORO?" The pile of febreeze cans falls on Kenshin as we hear a snap and a bang and, well you get the Idea…all you can see is a small piece of red sticking out of the massive pile.

"Oops," says Zanzo "oh that's great there goes Kenshin..." sighs Squinty eyes.

Yahiko kneels down in front of the big pile of cans "Noooo Kenshin, I never told you my unrequited love!" starts to whimper.

Kaoru taps Yahiko on the shoulder, "I think those were my lines," "oh sorry…" Yahiko gets up and walks away. Kaoru resumes the scene "oh my poor Kenshin."

"Boot em nooot dad yut (But I am not dead yet!)," comes a voice from the pile. Kaoru kicks the pile, "yes you are now shut up."

Misao comes from out of the dojo and walks around holding the script, standing in the middle of everyone. "Ack I don't get it, I should be the main character," throws the script on the ground. "I know I shall steal the Naruto show and call it Misao, I mean what kind of name is Naruto, it means fish paste!"

An squinty eyes stare at them all in utter disbelief and disgust, "you all suck, I would have to say you all have the worst acting skills ever," walks out in a huff.

Yahiko puts his hand out in front of Kaoru, "hand over the cash, I win," "I thought he wouldn't break so early, damn," puts a twenty in Yahiko's hand.

* * *

In Rei's office, her back turned to the board of actors. Swivels around to meet their eyes.

**Rei**: "I am very disappointed in you Kaoru, Yahiko."

**Yahiko**: "I won the bet so why should I care."

**Kaoru**: hits Yahiko over the head "were very sorry Narrator Sama, we didn't mean to ruin the whole scene."

**Rei**: "I think we will have to put you guys in Kenshins house for an entire week, the pink room, yeeeeees…" laughs manically.

**Yahiko**: gasp "Nooo anything but that."

**Kaoru**: starts to pull out her hair, shrivels into a ball on the floor " I remember, so pink…so deadly…"

**Kenshin**: "oh come on, its not that bad, I mean everything is like beautifully coordinated!" he says shrilly.

**Kaoru**: twitches on the floor.

**Hajime**: picks up Kaoru and puts her in a wagon towing her away.

**Sano**: "come on ma'am..."

**Rei**: "SIR!"

**Sano**: whimpers "Sir…it wasn't that bad."

**Rei**: "would you like to join them?"

**Sano**: pats Yahiko on the back " Good luck kid" whispers in his ear "don't look directly at the pink."

**Misao**: "yes, I shall kidnap Naruto and make the show mine, bwu ha ha ha ha ha" twitches and cups her hands.

**Everyone**: "SHUT UP!"

**Rei**: "Well I guess I will end the chapter here so all you people can soak up my true insanity."

**Kenshin**: "wait, I need to tell people about Kenshin of the moon!" whips out a board with mini skirt designs. Takes his stereo, puts in a CD

**Stereo**: fighting evil by moon light, winning love by daylight, never running from a real fight, he is the one named Kenshin moon. He will never turn his back on his friends, He is always there to defend, He is the one who we can depend, he is the one named Keeeenshin, sailor Sano, Sailor Kaoru, Sailor Yahiko, Sailor Misao, The secret powers all to new to her, he is the one named Kenshin moon. Fighting evil by moon light, winning love by daylight, with the sailors to help fight, He is the one named Kenshin moon, he is the one named Kenshin moon, he is the one, Kenshin moon

**Everyone**: "…"

* * *

Whoa, I did this one on a whim, yes it's really, random, but it all led up to that one moment with sailor moon and Kenshin. I spent awhile listening to the lyrics so I could change the song; I think those are the exact lyrics.

I got a flamer (not really) when I put up the first chapter, they said they shot themselves they thought this was so horrible. BUT! I won…how may you ask? Well they thought it was funny. I just write this stuff for my own enjoyment because I like making fun of stuff, that's the person I am. I will be making more serious ones in the future, probably with DNAngel, Krad and Satoshi Yaoi maybe, neh?

Well then I suppose I have had a good talk, hope you guys liked it, read and review.

Sincerely Rei


	3. Karaoke, the world shall end

Review responses

Stranded: uh Thank you, I just don't know much about Tomoe so you may not see here in this farce.

Saja Natalia: Thanks for all your support! You have been great since I started!

Rurouni October: I loved sailor moon when I was little, so I thought I should make fun of it! Thanks for the warm review glad you liked!

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Chapter 3

(I truly am demented aren't I?)

Don't own bloo blah bleak

Kenshin and the bad acting skills 3

(Go squinty!

Dim lights shaded the bar in an opal essence glow. The faces of each shadowed figure were barely visible. We find the gang leaning against the bar edge…well that's what Hajime was doing. Yahiko was on a bar stool swiveling around and around until he had to stop, and puke…Kaoru was practicing to go up and start singing Karaoke, Kenshin was fighting with the bar maid, saying that he should go first, Sano was studying the words to his song, and Misao was screaming at everyone how she should be the main character.

"I refuse to sing," said Hajime as he gave the rest a death…squinty…glare…of doom.

"Fine, I will go first and then the rest of you can go," said Kenshin in his uber high voice.

"NO!" said everyone frantically trying to pull Kenshin of the stage.

"Kenshin, I will go first ok," said Sano as he pushed Kenshin off and picked up the mic.

"I can't believe Narrator Sama condemned us to karaoke," whined Yahiko. "Ya well at least you guys escaped the pink room," exclaimed Misao. "So pink…so…deadly," Kaoru and Yahiko shrivel up on the floor, they both roll into a ball and start to whimpering. Hajime hits Misao over the head, "shut up stupid, we're not supposed to mention that around them."

Sano clears his throat as the lights dim even further, everyone anticipating his coolio song; to bad they were all horribly disappointed.

"Some WHEEEEEEEEERE over the Rainbow, Were skies are blue…" very of key and loud did Sano sing.

"AHHH STOP IT," screeched everyone in the crowd. Miscellaneous things such as shoes, books, coffee, coffee mugs, napkins, basically everything that people could get there hands on, Chairs…

Suddenly a comical hook comes out and pulls Sano of the Stage, "our savior!" screams the crowd.

"I guess it's my turn then," sighs Yahiko as he un-shrivels and walks onto the now destroyed stage.

"Ahem," chokes out Yahiko, picks up the dropped mic. Starts to prepare himself.

"Doe, ray, me, far, so, la, ti, doe," does this for about ten minuets

Crickets can be heard chirping in the background.

"GET ON WITH THE FUCKIN SONG!" screams one of the disgruntled crowd members.

Yahiko sighs and parts his lips.

"I am just a kid and life is a nightmare, I am just a kid and I know its not fair, nobody cares cause I am alone and the world is having more fun then me, tonight…" the entire crowd looks extremely board.

Misao whispers to Kenshin, "didn't Shippou use this song?" Kenshin shrugs, "he totally stole like the song, and I mean get a more original song!"

Yahiko stops, then steps off the stage.

Yahiko hits Hajime on the back, "its your turn buddy."

"Damn, I don't want to," Hajime scowls, "are you chicken," inquires Yahiko. "Fuck no, I just don't feel like singing," Misao sighs and walks over to him, "would you rather be in the pink room?" and with that said, he jumps onto the stage.

Silence encircles the stage, as he is about to sing, pulls of his cloths in one swift movement to reveal! Black leather. This should be good.

"My skin is like a map, of where my heart has been, And I can't hide the marks, but it's not a negative thing, So I let down my guard, drop my defenses, down by my clothes, I'm learning to fall, with no safety net, to cushion the blow, I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me, There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree, I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me, Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily" sings the rest of the song without interruption.

The entire crowd stares in awe.

Bandage dude appears, "that was so heart warming," he starts to cry. "I know, it was just beautiful," Kaoru says, they hold each other crying.

"…First Kenshin now Hajime, were will it end," Yahiko sighs and shakes his head.

Hajime bows and walks of the stage, but before he does so, "please give a round of applause for our next contestant, Kaoru!"

"Kaoru!" screams the entire crowd, "go Kaoru!"

"Uh ok," steps onto the stage.

"I hope you guys like it," Kaoru says before sighing.

Sits on a stool that Hajime left.

A weird song starts to play in the background, "oh please god if you like me you will not play this song," whines Hajime.

Kaoru parts her lips as the main part plays, "I touched those hated freckles lightly and sighed."

"NOOOO! THE HORRID FRECKLES SONG," screams Hajime as he collapses on the floor and twitches moaning about freckles and how he hates the song.

"My "heavy class" love has dissolved clearly

Just like a sugar cube. The thorn stuck in my thin breast went in further and hurt much more than before. Astrology didn't predict that at all."

Kenshin pushes Kaoru off, she falls and you hear a lot of cracks, ouch!

"Alrighty now my faithful fans we are going to listen to my favorite song!" changes into a mini skirt and ties his hair like sailor moon.

"Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight, never running from a real fight, he is the one named Kenshin moon!" everyone becomes very aggravated.

"SHUT UP," everyone pulls Kenshin of the stage.

There all kicked out of the bar.

"I guess they didn't like Kaoru's song," exclaims Kenshin.

They all just stare at Kenshin.

* * *

**Rei**: "I hate that Freckle song gack!" 

**Kaoru**: "sorry…jeez"

**Rei**: "have you all learned your lesson?"

**Yahiko**: "that Hajime's a fag?"

**Rei:** "uh no, the other lesson."

**Misao**: "that Sano should never sing Karaoke?"

**Rei**: "…no…"

**Kenshin**: "that I am so hot in a mini skirt!"

**Rei**: "…"

**Hajime**: "god…that our actions have consequences?"

**Rei**: "yes, now what will we never do?"

**All of them**: "We will never sing Karaoke again Narrator sama!"

**Rei:** "…I give up…"

**Yahiko**: "hey Hajime?

**Hajime**: "what?"

**Yahiko**: clears throat "FRECKLES!"

**Hajime**: "no not the Freckles "

**Rei**: "have fun in the pink room Yahiko…"

**Yahiko**: "NO NARRATOR SAMA PLEASE!"

**Everyone else**: laughs at him

**Rei**: "I guess I shall end the chapter neh?"

**Hajime**: "remember kiddies, never sing the Freckles song!"

**Rei**: "…"

* * *

Well then I hope you liked this chapter. I wanted to put a chapter with that annoying freckles song because I don't like it, it's annoying . But if I actually had to pick theme songs for them it would be these songs. 

Hajime – Bodies by Drowning Pool/Let you down by Three Days Grace

Tomoe – She will be loved by Maroon 5/Angels by Within Temptation

Yahiko – Still waiting by Sum 41/Stand out by Tevin Campbell

Sano – Pretty fly for a white guy by The Offspring/Head strong by Trapt

Shishio – The Red by Chevelle/Invincible by Skillet

Kenshin – This is your life by Switchfoot/Kryptonite by Three Doors Down

Kaoru – Every time we touch by Cascada/I bruise easily by Natasha Bedingfield

Misao – That Girl by Lindsay Lohan/What I like about you by The Kinks/Lilix

Aoshi – 5. Marz by Megaherz/Open Wounds by Skillet

Hiko – Sharp Dressed Man by ZZ Top/Same Direction by Hoobastank

Okina – Roxanne by Sting and the Police/Magic carpet ride by Steve Miller Band

Takani - Dirty little Secret by The All American Rejects/I dare you to move by Switchfoot

Sincerely Rie


	4. Sleep Over, like totaly!

Saja Natalia: Lmao, that is so funny. Thanks for the review. With our great insanity we could make a collaborative work and it would be so stupid not even we could read it!

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Chapter 4

(I am alive mu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha)

Don't own

Kenshin and the bad acting skills 4

(So…you want my chicken?)

We find our hero's in Kenshin's house. What did they do to endure this kind of torture?

"You guys get to sleep over!" squealed Kenshin…In Hajime's ear. He hugged onto Hajime. From the last chapter Hagime has displayed his faggyness. So Kenshin found a liking to him.

Yahiko stared around the house. It was like the rainbow had spit up. The kitchen was bright green with Santa colored lining. The living room was neon blue with brown couches. The halls were a bright magenta. Pictures of the Back street boy's in yellow frames seemed to pop up everywhere.

"Hold me Sano," whines Kaoru as Sano pats her back. "Its alright, we will survive Kaoru. I promise, you wont have to go to the horrible room…" Sano comforts her.

"The walls are closing in on me!" whines Misao as she starts to panic.

"You guys are such kidders. Anyway, you know why you're all here!" Kenshin smiled. Makeup scribbled on his face as if with crayon, looking like a freakish clown.

They scribbled fag all over Hajime…

They all cringed at the sight of him. "Lets have some music!" yells Kenshin. He prances up to the stereo and presses a button. A loud annoying cheering can be heard in the background.

" I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car, I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!"

Low and behold. It is, The Superstar song!

Kenshin starts to dance and sing along to the music, like a silly schoolgirl.

Hajime goes over to the Stereo and presses the forward button until black numbers stare back at him. '5' is what he read…

"She's just an ordinary girl, in a magical world, now she's on a trail of trouble. (And the adventures just begun!)

It is (drum role) The Card Captors theme Song, Ordinary girl!

Yahiko walks over to the stereo. He takes out his Bokuto, smashes the Stereo.

"No music, WHAT SO EVER!" screams Yahiko. A crazed look in his eyes.

Everyone steps back from him. Kaoru holding on to Sano for dear life.

Kenshin shivers. A small light bulb goes up over his head and he smiles. He sneaks out of the room. Comes back in with his hand behind his back, giving everyone the 'totally serious' look.

Clears his throat, "Erm, how about we loosen up with," he pauses. Everyone stares at him intently.

"A pillow fight!" Kenshin brings out a big, fluffy, pillow!

Kaoru runs, "He's coming to eat our brains!" starts to go into hysterics. Everyone stares at her.

Misao whispers to Sano, "I think we are the only sane ones left…" she looks at Sano…he is wearing a red soccer cone on his head. "Ok…I am the last sane one…"

Suddenly the closet opens and out pops, Naruto? He is in the wrong Anime. (Gasp)

"I got out, believe it!" yells Naruto.

"Get back in there!" yells Misao, shoving Naruto back into the closet. They all stare at her. "Misao, why is Fish paste here?" inquires Shishio. "Where the hell did you come from?" yells everyone.

"I was in the neighborhood…" and just like that, he disappears. "Creepy…" exclaims Yahiko.

* * *

Rei sits in her swively chair of swivel ness! 

**Rei**: "Misao, you kidnapped Naruto…"

Naruto's mouth is tapped and he has bondage.

**Misao**: "I wanted to have a show of my own…"

**Rei**: "So you took Naruto…"

**Misao**: "ya."

**Kenshin**: "That is totally un-cool Misao girl!"

**Hajime**: "…"

Sasuke bursts through the door.

**Sano**: "Holly Shit!"

**Kaoru**: "Shits not holly."

**Rei**: "Sasuke, what are you doing here?"

**Sasuke**: "She took my Dobe, so I have come to retrieve him!"

**Naruto**: "Dounot ceel my tahat!" (Do not call me that).

**Rei**: "Take Naruto and leave…"

**Sasuke**: Picks up Naruto and walks out the door.

**Rei**: "I think you are all absolutely stupid."

**Hajime**: "Most likely."

**Kaoru**: "Ya."

**Yahiko**: "Ya, they are dumb."

**Misao**: "Sorry Narrator Sama."

**Rei**: "Don't agree with me!

**Misao**: Eye twitches

**Rei**: "It's the…"

**Misao**: Clings to Rei's leg "Nooo!"

**Rei**: Try's to shake her off. "Come on, just go to the Pink Room!"

Right then and there a herd of Naruto's come in and beat up the cast.

They are all to beat up to move.

**Rei**: "Naruto…"

**Naruto**: "Make me a fan fic then!"

**Rei**: shakes her head. "Fine…"

**Rei**: "Chappy end here…"

* * *

(Scoffs at her Uber lateness) I am so sorry this took as long as it did. I got caught up in To Touch Me that my creative juices were all running dry. Luckily, bob gave me an Idea. I like the comment shits not Holly. My mother says that to me and my sister! 

So I hope this was good even though I think it was kind of short.

Read and Review

Sincerely Rei


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